A few years ago, one of my co-workers and I agreed: people who get married are either wildly optimistic or just plain stupid. I am, of course, married now, and my co-worker seems to be headed in that direction. But we also agreed that if and when we got married, it would only be because we managed to set aside our cynicism for a few weeks or months (depending on how long the whole process took). Falling in love helped, for sure, but now I find myself irrevocably, permanently married. Or at least that's the hope!
The couples in the small group that my husband and I lead have all been married between two and seven years. We all agree that we've managed to skate by relatively unscathed so far, but now it's time to really put some effort into figuring out how to be successful (and happy) in the long run.
At the suggestion of a few different counselor/friends, we have decided to lead the group through The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. The book seems really good, and it is also encouraging because I think we are doing some things right. The scariest part of the book is reading some of the conversations that play out between husbands and wives. It is unbelievable how harsh some relationships are!
All that to say, even though I am very happily married to an amazing man, I can still understand the feelings behind the song below by Stephen Sondheim, and probably quite a few people could stand to acquire a little cynicism that might drive them to books like John Gottman's before they get to the point of some of the couples he cites who are on the brink of disaster!
This is one of the best performances ever on the television
show, Glee, which although morally sketchy,
has some of the best remakes.
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