All About Eve

"I would have given her [the church] my head, my hand, my heart. She would not have them. She did not know what to do with them. She told me to go back and do crochet in my mother's drawing room." - Florence Nightingale

St. Mark's Episcopal Church, Westhampton Beach first Ladies Auxiliary, c. 1930

This morning I had the privilege of attending a book release for Carla Sunberg's new book, Reclaiming Eve: The Identity & Calling of Women in the Kingdom of God (co-written by Suzanne Burden and Jamie Wright).  Carla shared the above quotation from Florence Nightingale. What a powerful statement! I have felt the same way at times, and this post comes from my own struggle with reaching a theological understanding of my place in the church.

The Barna Group released a controversial book a few years ago entitled The Resignation of Eve: What if Adam's Rib Is No Longer Willing to be the Church's Backbone? Christianity Today's review of the book reported that some of the statistics have been questioned by other researchers and some of the writing about the various positions held by women is unbalanced. However, the title alone is thought-provoking and worth repeating here. Has "Adam's rib" become the "church's backbone"? Are women leaving the church en masse? What does this mean for the future of the church?

My Own Experience
When I decided to come to seminary, I had no definite plans for my post-graduation life. I harbored a somewhat secret desire to be a pastor, but I was hesitant to state such a bold ambition. In preparation for my future, I started testing my thoughts on different groups of people. The responses were telling.

I worked as a high school secretary. When asked in the public school context why I was going to seminary, I usually responded with something like, "I would like to be a pastor someday, but I know a lot of churches support the idea of women in ministry, but aren't so excited about having their own female pastor." I expected dismissal of such a religious endeavor in a stereotypically godless environment. On the contrary, my co-workers responded emphatically with, "Good for you! Don't let anyone hold you back because you're a woman! You can do whatever you want!" The gruff football coach even said he would be on the front row cheering when I preached my first sermon!

When I said something similar in my Sunday School class at church, however, the response was different. The class responded with knowing nods and "mmhmmm's." I meekly accepted their implicit opinion: they would not want a female pastor anymore than the next church. It was time to leave behind the idealism of educators and accept the reality of the church.

Women's Roles
"Note that you as a female are not given a role, but a responsibility, together with Adam. You (and every male and female in this world) are given broad, sweeping instructions to represent God by using and caring for and creatively overseeing his good world." -  Reclaiming Eve

It seems like every few days I come across a reference to Sheryl Sandberg's widely talked about book, Lean In. Sandberg is the COO of Facebook and a champion of female leaders in the corporate world. How would her journey have been different had she pursued leadership in the church? She is obviously a gifted leader, speaker, author and businesswoman. Would her gifts have been recognized and valued so highly in the church?

I like the idea of abandoning the language of "roles." I cannot emphasize enough the importance of having conversations in the church about gender identity in the midst of a culture deluged with mixed messages about macho men and metro men, militant feminists and submissive wives. However, rather than telling men and women who they should be, categorizing them according to their roles, I believe the church should be the place where men and women can discern their God-given gifts and accept their responsibility as bearers of the image of God.

In past years when many women worked at home, the church offered a venue for women to exercise their gifts of leadership, organization, and industry. Women organized fundraisers for missionaries. They coordinated support for families in crisis. They oversaw the spiritual education of children. Women even preached, although many women chose the less complicated route of traveling evangelist which conflicted less with established power structures.

As more doors have opened in the corporate world and more women have entered the workforce, the restrictive roles within the church have held less and less appeal for women. In a recent conversation with members of the pastoral staff at my own church, I asked if women were allowed to serve on the board of elders. The response was a joking, "Yes, in theory..." Apparently, there is recognition on the part of the pastoral staff that for all their interest in acknowledging that God calls men and women alike, the congregation is still a bit backwards and ignorant. (I wonder if the situation would be quite as funny if rather than a question of gender, the excluded group was a particular ethnicity that made up half the congregation.)

One author describes this phenomenon as insider/outsider status. She writes, "Accustomed to hearing the preacher speak to them and about them, women traditionally have not been encouraged to discover that they have voices of their own and distinctive experiences to contribute to their communities." As women have found their voices outside the church, they have taken their considerable leadership and organization skills elsewhere where they are welcomed unambiguously as insiders. Statistically women still receive lower pay than men for doing equivalent jobs, but at least that distinction is not upheld as fulfillment of a biblical mandate.

Moving Forward
As the church in America hemorrhages members at an alarming rate (the exact rate depends on the source of your data), how can the church specifically address women struggling to find their place? I would like to offer some suggestions.

1. Unambiguously embrace women in all levels of church leadership. In her essay on lay leadership, Janet Fishburn writes, "If lay leadership roles are seen as stepping stones in a power structure this is a sure sign that 'church work' is not being experienced as the service of persons gifted by God for particular ministries." If the best man for the job is a woman, then let's give her the job! And let's stop worrying so much about who is over whom.

2. Work to right gender inequalities. Sometimes the biggest hurdle for doing something new is simply that it's never been done. If no woman has ever been elected to the elder board, then it might be time for the nominating committee to offer a female-only ballot to the congregation. Often, in the space of a few years, people can't imagine a time when women were excluded from formerly male-only roles, but it may take intentional action to get the ball rolling.

3. Give women a voice. The Brazilian educator Paulo Freire believed that "for human beings the essential decision is between speaking or remaining embedded in a culture of silence, between naming ourselves or being named by others, between remaining an object or becoming a subject." Use sermon and teaching illustrations written by women. Cite female theologians and scholars. Listen to the concerns of women. And share the pulpit with women. As women in the pews hear other women's voices, they will find their own voices and be more empowered than ever to serve the church.

4. Pay attention to your language. I recently heard an illustration in a sermon about fad diets. The pastor referenced the "diet guru who is followed quickly by another guru as soon as he fades from popularity." I was somewhat taken aback because I was imagining a female nutritionist. If every story you tell, every verse you cite, and every person you reference is a man, women become disengaged and disconnected from the life of the church. The implicit message is that salvation isn't for me.

5. Follow the "crowds, praise, and power." Which ministries are given the most visible space in the church? Which ministries are talked about from the pulpit? Which ministries have the most well-known leaders? Are any of these ministries led by women? Do they involve women? Are women allowed to speak on behalf of the ministries in which they participate? People tend to move towards the crowds, praise and power. If women are excluded from this movement, their sense of belonging diminishes.

6. Consider the theological rationale for traditional "women's ministries." Janet Fishburn writes this: "Where the pastor gives opportunities to laity to discover and use their gifts through mutual ministry to each other, they are more likely to see that the whole world is in need of their ministry. A congregation in mission is first of all a caring community where persons can grow through relationships." Love is learned, experienced, and discovered through a caring community. The ministries traditionally assigned to women--caring for children, providing meals, gathering financial support for ministries--are too often overlooked as theologically insignificant in the overall mission of the church, but these ministries are actually central components of Christian formation in the lives of congregants.

7. Listen. When women complain of being overlooked, don't dismiss their concerns. When women feel that they are without a place or a voice, take their concerns seriously. When women ask questions, think carefully before answering. When we ask questions, we are often trying to understand a past experience that left us confused, hurt, excluded, and even ready to walk away from the church. Don't take these experiences lightly.

Like Florence Nightingale and countless other women, I would give the church my head, my hand and my heart. But I don't want to fight. If giving my life to the church requires a fight, then I don't want to do it (although I suspect that the Holy Spirit may have other ideas). I want to be part of a community where everyone is welcomed, valued and encouraged to discover their unique gifts--regardless of ethnicity, socioeconomic status, position, or gender. I want to be able to say to a young woman who feels a call to ministry with the same passion and enthusiasm of my co-workers, "Great! Go for it! You can do whatever God calls you to do in this church!"